The Magnet of the Past

What I find in front of me, and just out of reach, is only so because I am tethered to my past.  Past experiences, past emotions – good and bad.  Each experience and the emotion creates a moment in time, a spark that is more likely to be remembered because it has an emotional imprint…and as life progresses we carry this imprint with us.   It is an amazing thing to look back at the things which have been done, accomplished and felt, and it can also be a burden.  A weight we carry, a voice in our ear that says “no” or the illusion that the obstacles we will face going forward simply cannot be overcome.

This is the magnet – like a chain and choker which ties us to the emotional boulders of our past.  The present moment lacks lustre for the emotions of the past taint the current frame.

The past is like a magnet which pulls us back to continually relive certain experiences.  We abandon second chances and new experiences because we continually look in the rear view…and the past pulls us out of the present moment.

This is actually a necessary process – it is what allows us to operate a new piece of technology even though we may not have used it before; we use the past as a reference for what to do, and then adapt based on what is in front of us and the feedback that it gives us.  A machine is easy (maybe), but in matters of the mind and in social interactions it becomes harder to adapt as the feedback we receive is almost entirely shaped by our perceptions which are shaped by our individual experiential magnets – those little or big past moments which still shape what we do right up to this moment.

All the experiences of the past, both good and bad allow us to open a door when we see one, even if the door is totally foreign and we have no idea where it leads.  Therefore, I cannot tell myself to forget the experiences of my past…past loves, past struggles, past hurts.  Those are mine, it is only with them that I am able to open the doors of my future.  Everything I am right now is the culmination of my experience, my pain and my love.  Because of that I hold to the key to every door that will ever appear, because those doors are meant for me – but I must understand that I do in fact hold the key, and then I must be willing to use it to enter the next phase of my life.

For anyone with pain it is illogical, and likely dangerous, to attempt to forget it or suppress it.  It is a pain that belongs to the owner.  As with all things we own, we must take care of it, and not run from it.  That is part of who we are, and can’t be outrun – the boulder drags through the sand choking us more and more the quicker we attempt to move from it.  Thus instead of trying to seperate ourselves from the pain, our emotional burdens, we must pick them up and carry them with us – by choice.

Whether our past experiences or emotional baggage are the result of our own choices or someone elses, we must decide that is far easier to carry this – to accept that is is part of us – than to try to run from it.  Neither path is easy, but one will you to move in the direction you need to go, while the other will keep you from realizing your full potential.  Failing to see ourselves as we are, fighting ourself or attempting to shut out the past and not address it keeps us from realizing that we have all the tools we need to open up the next phase of our life.

This is a symbolic representation of emotional experiences we carry.  These experiences, which we may wish to forget, are a part of us, a part we may wish to die, but it won’t.  Like a sick plant these parts of ourselves need to be nurtured; torturing (what we often do to ourselves psychologically long after an experience) or trying to ignore the issue will not bring health.

This is easy to say, yet hard to do.  ”Own your past” or “Accept it” are words we can’t take lightly.  Actually accepting the things we struggle with is a hard (but rewarding) process, but while it is hard, it is no harder than struggling against the pains we carry day in and day out (which is not rewarding).

Over the next couple posts I will look at actual experiences and how we can come to accept what we see as our shortcomings.  This will hopefully help lift the veil to see what lies in  front, as opposed to always looking back; how we can begin to use the struggles of the past and pain from our shadows to pave the way to a fulfilling future.  It is possible.  In the next post I will look at recognizing the things that tether us, then how to accept those things through the actions we take.

Keep peace within.

Cory Mitchell